Why I- Went to Gatsby's funeral

   Gatsby was an odd fellow. From first glance, I would have never thought that I would have been one of the only people attending his funeral. I felt that after getting to know him and catching a small glimpse of his life, it was my duty and respect to honor his life. After all, he did nothing that deserved the sentence that he received; death. Gatsby allowed me to become closer with others, and make more of a life for myself. I felt that I owed him something for letting me in and making me a friend of his. Complimenting Gatsby is something that I will always remember, and is always in my mind. I think about that moment and never regret it. It’s pretty much the last meaningful thing I said to him and I'm overjoyed that it was. He definitely was better than the entire crew put together.

What I was Feeling- When I found out Jordan was engaged

     Jordan? Engaged? These two words just didn’t seem to go together smoothly. I first felt guilt. In my heart, I knew that I still wished I was the man who could say that Jordan Baker was mine. On the other hand, I was happy for her. We didn’t work out and it was only fair that she move on and meet someone else. I couldn’t help though the small feeling in the back of my mind that felt that this was all fake. That she wasn’t really engaged or even seeing someone. See, Jordan is the kind of woman who is so serious and professional all the time that it's hard to tell if she isn’t being honest. Jordan was a player of mind games, and for some time I played with her. The feelings for Jordan will probably never go away, for I will always have a memory of all the times, good and bad, that we shared together.  

What I was Thinking- The First Time I saw Gatsby

     What a strange man standing and staring out into what seemed to be nothing. I'd always wondered who owned the huge house beside me, and this finally was able to provide an answer to all the mystery. I would come to learn that Gatsby was in love with my cousin who lived across the body of water that separated us. There were many things that ran through my head just at this moment. I couldn't exactly see his face, but I saw his body which was young and thin. I felt that this appearance didn't quite match my expectations. I was a little relieved to find that he was seemingly normal looking. From the crowds of people that were always gathered at the enormous house, I wasn't sure of the type of person who could have possibly lived there. Through all these feelings, I was able to gain a first impression of this man that I would become closely acquainted with in the weeks to come. 

Why I- Complimented Gatsby.

     Gatsby was such a complimented person. He was willing to hurt others just to get the love he wanted from the beginning. Throughout his life, I was able to make many realizations. By his death, I saw that he really had no one. No one who really cared about him or worried about his life; I was really the only one who'd been a true friend to him. Before I complimented Gatsby, I realized that he really wasn't so bad. Definitely not as bad as Tom, or Daisy either for that matter. My compliment was just to let him know that I was with him on this whole journey of finding his happiness with Daisy finally. I'll never regret complimenting him, because he really deserved it. After his death I knew that what I said was right, and I was proud that the only compliment I'd ever given him was one with meaning.

What I was feeling- When I met Tom Buchanan.

     Immediately I was powerless. Walking into Tom's household was threatening and unwelcoming. He took pride in things. He loved to show off and make everyone else feel so trivial. As soon as I entered his household, I realized my visit was more of a 'show and tell' than it was a time to talk and catch up. I can now understand why he was so feared and despised. In  a way I feel bad for him. Underneath his frightening figure is a man who really is falling apart at the seams. Not only is he cheating on his wife, but his wife also ends up cheating on him. I feel that as I get to know him, I am able to see his more vulnerable side. It’s hard to choose if I like him or not because he was having an affair that caused him to cheat on my own cousin! From another view though, it’s impossible not to feel sorry for Tom because he really isn't as threatening as he seems to 
be.
   

What I was thinking- When I saw Jordan for the first time.

 When I first saw Jordan Baker, she was sprawled out on the long couch beside my cousin Daisy. Her stance was powerful and independent. I could automatically sense her strong personality. Jordan had the beauty that could draw men in, but the personality that would make them run away.  I knew that she was smart and beautiful. She made me feel so trivial and unintelligent. Through our relationship, we had up and downs, but I feel that we were very similar. At times she could be complicated, but she was overall a very matter- of- fact woman. We both had a sort of quality that allowed us to know so much about others. Jordan told me things about people that no ordinary person would know. We were able to talk about things no one knew about. I feel that our relationship didn't work out because she was too stubborn and strong.